


When is a Horrible Day at Walmart not a Horrible Day at Walmart?

by Katie80



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Prompt, bi characters, walmart au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 13:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8846140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie80/pseuds/Katie80
Summary: Nathan/Pickles AU based on this Tumblr Prompt:  Imagine person A working in retail at a Walmart or Costco and having a long, horrible day. After cleaning another ridiculous mess from a customer’s out of control kid they are thoroughly pissed off. Then person B taps on their shoulder to ask A to help them reach something from a shelf cause person B is short. A finds person B to be the most polite and the sweetest person they’ve met all day at work.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this fic. I used to work at Walmart and dragged up a few "good" memories for it. I ship Nathan/Pickles so, so much and this was a nice AU "how they met" story to work on. I hope you like it. This is not beta read and all mistakes are mine.

It had started as soon as Nathan walked through the doors and headed for the time clock. He was already wearing his unmistakable navy blue shirt and black jeans, so of course he was stopped before he could get to the back of the store. “Hey, you. You work here. I need a price check on this.” A woman held out a pregnancy test and gave him an expectant look. 

 

“I, uh, I actually can’t check a price right now. I’m not…” The look on her face told him that if he said anything about actually needing to be on the clock to help someone she would go right to his manager. He sighed softly and took the test over to one of the many price check scanners in the store, hooked up for customer use. After running the bar code under it he went back to her. “It’s uh, it’s $5.98.” He didn’t even care when she took it without a thank you. The detour had made him five minutes late, which didn’t sound like much, but to Walmart he might as well be an hour late for all that mattered. “Shit…” He muttered under his breath, just getting the feeling that it was going to be one of Those Days.

 

Which it was shaping up to be. As an experienced hunter and fisher Nathan didn’t mind working in the Sporting Goods section normally. He gave good advice about firearms and could tell people what the best bait was. However the downside of Sporting Goods was how close it was to the toy section. People would leave their kids there as if the toys themselves were some sort of babysitter and go shop and of course it was up to Nathan to make sure the toys weren’t strewn all over his aisles, creating trip hazards. 

 

And of course it was just his luck that he had to work with Brian, who’d been hurt in a water skiing accident and was stuck sitting on a stool behind the gun counter/cash register all day. The rule was that someone had to be back with the firearms and ammo at all times and Nathan found himself glaring at Brian more and more as the day wore on. “Fucking dick.” He murmured to himself as he picked up a handful of lures someone had just dropped on the floor in the fishing aisle. “I’d take up water skiing too if it meant I could just sit back there like a fucking king, and not move.” Deep down, Nathan knew he wasn’t really being fair, but he was so pissed off at the day already that he didn’t care. He was stuck with all of the grunt work now, because stupid Brian couldn’t stay off the stupid water. Brian didn’t deserve to have Nathan think fairly of him.

 

The unmistakable sound of little girls giggling brought him from fishing back to the exercise aisle, and he swore in his mind when he saw that they had opened a package of paint your own what-the-fuck-ever and there was now glitter paint all over the floor. The kids were nowhere in sight now, which was a good thing, because Nathan couldn’t keep himself from cursing out loud. “Are you fucking kidding me? This is why people need to keep their kids on a leash. I ain't a babysitter.” Nathan knelt down with a couple of rags and some soapy water and got to work, still grumbling about the unfairness of this whole fucking day.

 

He had just about cleaned up the last of that fucking glitter abomination when. “Um, excuse me?” A rather high pitched, heavily accented voice came from behind him and Nathan felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

“Yeah? What… I mean, how can I help you?” Nathan stood up slowly, carefully holding his rag so as not to spill its contents. He found himself looking down at a short man with sparse red hair that was fixed into dreadlocks. After he took in the rather strange hair style he fixed his eyes on what he considered to be the most striking facial features he’d seen in a long time. 

 

The guy looked taken aback at Nathan’s reaction, but went on with his request. “I'm real sorry to bug you. I know you gotta be busy, but I sorta need help gettin’ something down from the top shelf.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his shoes.

 

Nathan immediately regretted his harsh tone and nodded. “Sure thing. Just let me toss all this.” Nathan headed back to the counter and tossed the rags into the trash can before telling Brian he was heading over to toys with a customer so he wouldn’t wonder where else he’d been dragged off to.

 

“Thanks. I looked for someone in the toy section but I couldn't find anyone. See, it's my nephew's birthday and he loves Hawkeye from Avengers. You guys got one action figure left and of course it's outta reach.” The guy’s voice was still apologetic as they walked to the shelf the figure was on, and he pointed up to it.

 

Nathan felt drawn to this rather endearing, awkward person and he nodded, following him to the shelf and easily reaching the toy for him. “Sure, no problem. There’s not one behind it, either. You really did get the last one.” He found himself actually feeling happy for someone who clearly had a soft spot for his nephew.

 

“Oh my god, you're a lifesaver. I would have felt so bad if I didn't get him something. I haven’t seen the kid in two years. Normally I just send money, but they came down here to take him to Disney World so I thought I'd get him something special, ya’know. I don't get a chance to be Uncle Pickles all that often.” Pickles took the box and smiled down at it fondly. 

 

Usually by now Nathan would be just wishing the customer would take their shit and leave, but he found that he didn't actually want this guy to stop talking. “Your name is Pickles? Seriously?”

 

“Yeah well,” a shoulder shrug told Nathan he didn't want to talk about it. Then Pickles glanced at his phone. “Oh fuck, I gotta go wrap this and get my ass to the party. See you around sometime maybe. Oh wait, before I go, I got a question. I mean, you might be the wrong guy to ask this, because you work over in sports, not here, but, would you get a five year old a birthday card too? Kid’s just learnin’ to read and I always thought that cards were sorta a waste of time, but he might like it. I mean, I always send him one when I send the money, obviously, but, well… I’m here now. Or he’s here now, actually.”

That was not a question Nathan had ever been asked before and he sort of looked at Pickles in an odd way before shrugging. “I mean, my folks got me cards when I was a kid, but I guess I never really cared too much about them. Just give me the presents and stop delaying gratification, I always thought. Honestly, I think cards for kids that age are just an excuse to teach them patience. Why do you need to teach them patience, you ain’t their parent, right? Besides, cards are fu… really expensive. Do you really wanna spend five dollars on something your nephew ain’t gonna like and will either throw away or lose in his room?”

 

Pickles laughed hard and actually clapped Nathan on the back, making him stagger a bit. For a little guy, he really packed a punch. “You know somethin’? I never thought of it that way before. That is awesome. So just give him the action figure, leave the card on the shelf, save a tree and not teach the kid any lessons on his birthday. I like it. Thanks a lot, Nathan. You’ve been a real help.” 

 

As he watched Pickles walk away, Nathan wondered how in the world he knew his name. “Right. Name tag.”

 

Several hours passed and thank god it was time to clock out. Nathan was heading towards the front doors when he spotted a familiar figure in the line to do returns. In his hand he held the Hawkeye figure. Ignoring the voice telling him to just go the fuck home already, Nathan stopped next to him. “Hey, your nephew not like it?”

 

Pickles jumped, then gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes. “Oh, hey Nathan. Nah, it wasn’t that he didn’t like it, he already had one. And my douchebag brother actually yelled at me for, first, not giving him money for Disney World like they were expecting, and second, spending less on him than I normally would send. I just…” Pickles’ face seemed to fall. “I guess they really did come down here just to see Mickey. It was great of you to grab it for me though. I just wish I hadn't wasted your time. I’m real sorry about that.”

 

“The fuck, man?” Nathan was so pissed for him he didn't bother to watch his language in his work place. “You put thought into a gift and got yelled at for it, and now you're saying you're sorry to me? That’s sorta messed up. Don’t be sorry, you kept me away from Brian.” Nathan wasn’t sure why, but he fell into line with Pickles. There was just something about him that made Nathan want to keep talking to him. “Hey, uh, I know this might seem a little bit weird, and feel free to say no, but I was gonna go to Denny’s. You wanna come with?”

 

Pickles looked up at Nathan curiously, wondering if he was just pitying him or something. The look on Nathan’s face must have told him that he wasn’t, so he nodded. “Sure, that sounds great. I haven’t been to Denny’s in forever.”

“I like to go after work every now and then. I mean, Denny’s is the Walmart of the food world, I feel like I know what they’re going through. How about you just catch a ride with me, so we only have to take one car?” The words came out before he had a chance to think that inviting a perfect stranger to ride with him might not be that good of an idea. But Pickles really was quite small, Nathan was pretty sure he could take him if he tried anything.

“The food world has a Denny’s? Huh, I did not know that.” Pickles actually cracked a real smile which he kept on his face even when he returned the gift. Then he nodded at Nathan’s idea and followed him to the parking lot. As Nathan walked out with him Pickles stuffed the money back in his pocket. “Ya’know, it ain’t my nephew’s fault that he’s got douchebag parents.” Maybe it was because as a realtor he made a living meeting strangers in strange places and showing them vacant houses, but Pickles didn’t see anything odd about riding with a man he’d just met. “Amber, my just as douchey sister-in-law, told him, right in front of me, that ‘she was sorry Uncle Pickles ruined his birthday.’ But Jeff, my nephew, hugged me anyway and told me that if the one he had at home wasn’t already played with, he’d wanna keep mine. I just hope he stays this nice.”

 

Nathan frowned when Pickles told him the story and started the engine. “Your brother sounds like a dick, you know that?” It was times like this that Nathan was more than happy to be an only child.

 

“Yeah, I know he is. I mean, a part of me feels a little bad because Amber’s pregnant again and my brother just lost his job. I mean, it was for stealin’ shit from the company he worked for, but that ain’t Jeff’s fault. My parents help them out a lot though. They’re down here too, but they’re stayin’ in a hotel. My dad said his don’t even wanna look at me.”

 

Nathan pulled his beat up old black pickup into the Denny’s parking lot and got out before looking at Pickles again. He was the nicest, most polite guy he’d met in a long time and he couldn’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to be around a son like that. A son who got fired for stealing was surely more of a candidate for disowning, he would have thought. “Seriously? Why’s that?” 

 

He held the door open for Pickles and followed him inside then waited for the hostess to seat them before Pickles answered. “I… I ran off when I was sixteen and my folks found out that I wasn’t exclusively into girls. My dad said that it was just as bad as being actually gay, and he didn’t want anything to do with me after that.” Pickles picked up the menu, flipped through it and ordered the chicken strips and fries. “My mother talks to me sometimes, but only to tell me how good my brother’s doin’.”

After ordering a burger, Nathan replied. “I haven’t met your family, and I don’t think I want to. My dad’s totally cool with me bein’ bi. He said if I ever found the right person, he’d take us both fishing. My ma tries to be supportive too, but she says stupid shit without meaning to. Like, uh, ‘I’ll still love you no matter what you date.’ She didn’t say Who, she said What. Like I’m gonna be dating a fucking unicorn or some shit like that.”

 

Pickles actually laughed at that, choking on the water he’d been sipping. When he’d finally stopped coughing, he wiped his eyes and shook his head. “God, that was amazing. I can’t remember the last time I laughed like that.”

 

Nathan laughed too, more from watching Pickles’ reaction. “So, you ain’t from around here.”

“Nope, I’m not. I’m from Wisconsin. I moved here, well, mostly because it’s warm. Fuck winter. I never did good with the cold. And it’s about as far away from Tomahawk as you can get and still be in the US. Like I said, I haven’t seen my family for two years. That was when my grandpa died and I figured I should go up for the funeral. Big mistake. My douchebag brother spent the whole time tryin’ to get me to get him a cheap house. Dude, just because I’m a realtor don’t mean I can just get someone a cheap house, willy-nilly. Besides, fuck that. I ain’t gettin’ him more special treatment. He’s got a perfectly good room over my parents’ garage to raise that family of his in.” Pickles sighed and dug into the food that arrived between their conversation. “I mean, I do like my nephew a lot, and if I could just help that poor kid out, I would. But seriously, my brother…” He shook his head and dipped a French fry into his chocolate shake.

 

“Dude, gross.” Nathan gave Pickles an incredulous look before picking out the tomatoes in his burger and setting them to the side.

 

“No way, Dude. Salty and sweet. It’s a classic taste. Wanna try it?” Pickles held out his glass to Nathan for him to try.

“I’ll pass, thanks. Maybe it’s something you Midwesterners do, or something like that but it just looks weird to me.” Nathan still had a faint smile on his face, watching this new friend of his. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much fun, let alone with a total stranger. 

 

All too soon Pickles sighed heavily and pushed side his long empty water glass. The dishes had been cleared away quite a while ago and they’d ordered coffee and dessert just so that their server wouldn’t kick them out. But it still felt too soon, at any rate. They’d been talking non-stop for three hours. “Shit, I should get home before my douchebag brother thinks I ain’t comin’ back and starts pawnin’ my shit.” He looked sorry to end the conversation, however.

 

“Yeah, I told my dad I’d call him after work. I should do that before he starts thinking I’m dead or some shit like that.” The pair walked back out to the pickup and Nathan drove them back to Walmart in comfortable silence. Driving while listening to music was proving to be just as nice as sitting and talking. Pickles pointed out his car in the Walmart parking lot and Nathan pulled up alongside of it. He stopped Pickles just as he was getting out of the truck. “Oh, hey, I don’t have your number. I’m gonna need that if we’re gonna make this a regular thing.” 

Pickles’ eyes grew huge and he grinned. “You… you wanna make this a regular thing? Really?”

 

“Yeah man, I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard, like, ever. I feel like I’ve known you forever.” He dug his phone out of his jeans and waited for Pickles to tell it to him. Then Nathan texted Pickles. “Let me know when you’re free. Even if it’s after your, er, douchebag brother leaves.” It dawned on him that he didn’t actually know Pickles’ brother’s name. He was willing to bet it was something weird, like Mustard. 

 

“Sure. They’re gonna be leavin’ in a few days. I can’t go to Disney World with them anyway, so I’m still free even when they’re in town.” Pickles gave Nathan’s hand a friendly squeeze before he got into an older, but nice looking BMW and drove off.

 

Nathan put his phone on speaker and called his dad, telling him about the new guy he’d just met, and how cool, funny and awesome he was. “Well, say the word and I’ll take you boys fishing.” Was Oscar’s reply.

 

“Dad, we’re not… we just met.” Nathan pulled up to his run-down apartment and went inside. “Hang on, I got a text.” He read it and smiled to himself.

 

*You free tomorrow? P*

 

“Actually Dad, we might be coming to your fishing cabin sooner rather than later. I’ll keep you posted.” Sometimes the shittiest days at Walmart turned out to be the best ones.


End file.
